TheDailyMash.co.uk
satirical website covering national and international news with spoof stories, commentary and opinion
"Sorry, did you say 'mind-weapons'?” everyone asks Royal Society
The Daily Mash | 8 Feb 2012, 9:15 am
SCIENTISTS have been asked to confirm that they definitely said they could make brainguns and if so, when.
Your problems solved, with Holly Harper
The Daily Mash | 8 Feb 2012, 9:01 am
"I intend to break into his house, put on Alive and Kicking by Simple Minds at full volume, tie him to a chair with pretty tartan ribbon and then force feed him haggis until he bursts."
Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
The Daily Mash | 8 Feb 2012, 8:47 am
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)Your interest in appearing on University Challenge quickly wanes when you realise it's not about asking tosspot students to step outside.
Madonna becomes new face of Tena Lady
The Daily Mash | 8 Feb 2012, 8:19 am
AFTER a near perfect performance at the Super Bowl on Sunday, Madonna has been unveiled as the new brand ambassador for feminine leakage pads.
Refusing to have fun now a sackable offence
The Daily Mash | 8 Feb 2012, 8:04 am
TOUGH new policies on workplace fun will make enjoyment of group activities non-negotiable, it has emerged.
Queen to be bombarded with lower middle class music
The Daily Mash | 8 Feb 2012, 7:44 am
BRITAIN will pay tribute to the Queen by standing outside her house and bombarding her with music she finds ghastly.
Right-wing people smart enough to hate everyone
The Daily Mash | 7 Feb 2012, 9:31 am
RIGHT-wingers are intelligent enough to know that everyone is ultimately a self-serving bastard, according to new research.
NHS to use frantic hand gestures
The Daily Mash | 7 Feb 2012, 8:19 am
NHS staff are to start miming what they want to do to foreign patients in a bid to save money.
UN deadlocked over Arab-killing rights
The Daily Mash | 7 Feb 2012, 7:51 am
THE United Nations Security Council remains deadlocked over which countries are allowed to exterminate Arab civilians.
Abu Qatada appointed UK’s jihad tsar
The Daily Mash | 7 Feb 2012, 7:27 am
RADICAL Islamic cleric Abu Qatada is to overhaul British Islamo-fascism after being named as the country's first jihad 'tsar'.
