Tag: Humour

ACEH, INDONESIA—Watching in awe as the wild animal applied the medicinal product to the top of his head, primate researchers were reportedly stunned Friday after witnessing an orangutan use Rogaine to fix a bald spot. “This is the first known case of any wild animal using an over-the-counter hair loss treatment…Read more...

According to a tally by the Associated Press, the number of individuals arrested at college protests held in support of Palestinians in Gaza has surpassed 2,000 across 36 schools. What do you think?Read more...

WASHINGTON—As mounting campus protests and arrests over the Israel-Hamas war threatened his fragile electoral coalition, advisors to President Joe Biden assured him Friday that this would blow over once all Gazans were dead. “Just lie low, let a few thousand more bombs drop on densely populated areas, and you’re…Read more...

WASHINGTON—His cell phone ringing and causing a huge distraction right as their piece began, the nation reported feeling embarrassed and devastated Friday after President Joe Biden answered a business call during their big recital. “We spent weeks practicing for the spring piano recital, and he missed our whole…Read more...

NEW YORK—With multiple eyewitnesses saying the public display of affection on a Manhattan-bound F train had gotten way out of hand, reports confirmed Friday that annoying teen Thomas Hansler had his girlfriend’s whole face in his mouth. “Ugh, if he wants to apply that much suction to her forehead, eyes, nose, mouth,…Read more...

Fujikawaguchiko, a town in Japan known for its clear view of Mount Fuji, has begun constructing a large black screen to obstruct that view in an effort to ward off tourists, saying that the town has become overrun with people blocking traffic, littering, and trespassing. What do you think?Read more...

LEAWOOD, KS—Urging her boyfriend to calm down after he woke up and immediately began to panic, Taylor Swift reportedly began her day Friday by playing a video reminding Travis Kelce who she is and how long they’ve dated. “Hi baby, I know you don’t know who I am right now, but my name is Taylor, and I love you very…Read more...

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As part of a promotion for its new “Icons” category of rental properties, Airbnb recreated the floating house from the movie Up, which the company claims is a fully functional property that guests can stay in while airborne. What do you think?Read more...

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A Tory Twitter commentator has been taken to hospital with a severely dislocated shoulder after trying to spin the local election results as "not particularly bad" for the Tories.

The Conservative party is laying the blame for their disastrous local elections result squarely at the feet of those preventing them from demonising further minority groups.

The government has announced new plans for primary school education to be outsourced to Rwanda.

Workers Party MP George Galloway has exclusively revealed that “normal” romantic relationships should involve the man embodying the role of a domestic cat and partaking in meals directly from the palms of their female counterparts.

The DIY SOS team have been called into Manchester's Co-op Live Arena it has been revealed today. 

An officious twat is revelling in checking the ID of all the young people coming to vote in the local elections, according to reports this morning.

The Snooker World Championship will aim to emulate the cynical money-making of the Premier League with the introduction of multiple replica kits.

The evolution of intelligent AI continues apace, with the latest milestone in its continued development achieved after it was discovered that no AI chatbot would be willing to vote for Reform UK.

The small boats migrant crisis must be stopped immediately, so we can focus on helping our own people first, according to a man who lost his mind when he found out Sadiq Khan wanted to feed hungry school children at the taxpayer's expense.

Ahead of tomorrow's local elections, there is a fear growing amongst Tories that links to the Tory party could hurt them in the polling booth.