News with a humourous edge
Donald Trump to just go ahead and claim the economy is growing anyway
30 April 2025 @ 1:10 pm
Donald Trump is minutes away from dismissing US economic figures and pretending the US economy is still growing strongly. As figures showed the US economy shrank by 0.3% in Trump’s first three months, Trump officials told reporters, “Oh no it didn’t.” The President took to social media to tell his remaining cult members, “Economic indicatorsNew Star Wars spin-off to plot transformation of MAGA into the evil Empire
30 April 2025 @ 10:54 am
A new Star Wars spin-off scheduled for release next year will plot the rise of the MAGA movement and its ultimate transformation into the evil Empire at the heart of the popular series.Concerns cashless economy could make bribing a policeman a right hassle
30 April 2025 @ 10:28 am
Bribing a police officer is a bit tricky when only 14% of Brits regularly carry cash, according to reports this morning.Man cancels gym membership he never uses to subscribe to fitness app he’ll never open
30 April 2025 @ 9:22 am
A man has stopped wasting money on a gym membership he never used and has started wasting money on an online fitness class he never attends.Donald Trump receives $5 Amazon gift card as apology from Jeff Bezos
30 April 2025 @ 8:06 am
Donald Trump has ended his short-lived feud with Jeff Bezos after the Amazon founder sent him a $5 apology gift card.White House slams Amazon over plan to keep American consumers ‘dangerously well-informed’
29 April 2025 @ 2:15 pm
The Trump White House has today slammed Amazon for committing a 'hostile act' over its plans to keep American consumers dangerously well-informed on how tariffs are affecting the prices of the things they buy.Weary nation prepares for Tory Reform coalition after Kemi Badenoch categorically rules it out
29 April 2025 @ 10:54 am
The nation's weary voters are today preparing for an electoral pact between the Conservatives and Nigel Farage's Reform Party, after Kemi Badenoch categorically ruled it out.Donald Trump claims his first 100 days have actually only taken him 10 days
29 April 2025 @ 9:14 am
US President Donald Trump has today claimed that his first 100 days in office has actually only been 10 days.Victorious Mark Carney makes lucrative offer to California to become part of Canada
29 April 2025 @ 8:53 am
Fresh from his election triumph, Canada's newly-minted Prime Minister Mark Carney has wasted no time in making a bold geopolitical move, offering California the chance to ditch the United States and join the "cooler, calmer" Canadians instead.Papal Conclave set to include Wayne Rooney, Pete Doherty and wee Jimmy Krankie
29 April 2025 @ 8:06 am
The Vatican have announced the participants who will take part to appoint the new Pope, and alongside the expected religious figures will be Wayne Rooney, Pete Doherty and wee Jimmy Krankie.