News with a humourous edge
After watching TV during UK visit Donald Trump instructs US officials to negotiate trade deal with Love Island
31 July 2025 @ 9:39 am
After browsing through British television during his visit to Scotland, President Donald Trump has said he wants to open diplomatic relations and make a trade deal with Love Island as soon as possible.Love Island producers to shake things up next season with introduction of hairy, intelligent man
31 July 2025 @ 9:28 am
The producers of Love Island are to shake things up with intelligence and body hair.If apologies are owed for aligning people with sex offenders then we’d like one from you, immigrant community tells Nigel Farage
30 July 2025 @ 9:34 am
Reform UK leader and sentient ahstray, Nigel Farage, has demanded an apology from Science Secretary Peter Kyle after Kyle accused him of being “on the side” of online predators, and, rather pointedly, hypothetical digital Jimmy Saviles.Netanyahu to end Gaza starvation after Bob Geldof and Midge Ure threaten to write new song
30 July 2025 @ 6:26 am
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has agreed to end the starvation in Gaza following rumours that Bob Geldof and Midge Ure are planning to write a new song to raise funds.Tommy Robinson’s fist brutally assaulted by man’s face
30 July 2025 @ 6:18 am
Professional moron herder Tommy Robinson is understood to be ‘stable’ today after his fist was allegedly brutally assaulted by a man’s face at St Pancras station in London.Man who screamed “ALL Lives Matter” surprisingly comfortable with the ongoing starvation of children in Gaza
29 July 2025 @ 10:04 am
A man who repeatedly yelled that "ALL lives Matter" 5 short years ago during protests against inequality, has been unexpectedly silent about the ongoing starvation of children and babies in the Gaza strip. Man unsure how to complain about online age verification without also admitting he is a regular consumer of online smut
29 July 2025 @ 7:32 am
A British man has found himself in a moral and logistical quandary after struggling to publicly complain about the government’s new online age verification rules without accidentally revealing that he, in fact, knows far too much about the inner workings of PornHub’s homepage.99% of VPNs downloaded with trousers around ankles, finds study
29 July 2025 @ 6:57 am
A new study has revealed that 99% of the nation’s VPN downloads occurred whilst trousers were being shimmied down to the user’s ankles.Woman uses salt and pepper pots to patiently explain to confused husband how Lionesses are more successful than England’s men
28 July 2025 @ 9:53 am
A woman has this morning spent thirty minutes explaining to her confused husband why the England's women team is so much better than the men's team.‘If we don’t get an extra bank holiday it’s a disgrace’ insists man who didn’t watch one second of Euro 2025
28 July 2025 @ 9:34 am
A man has insisted today that it is an absolute disgrace that we don’t get an extra bank holiday to celebrate England’s victory in the Women’s European Championships, despite not actually watching one second of the tournament.