TheOnion.com

Weapons, a new horror film from the director of Barbarian, topped the box office on its opening weekend. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the movie.  Q. Why is the film called Weapons? A. The title Where Did The Kids Go? Find Out, Josh Brolin! didn’t test well.  Q: Is it scary? […] The post What To Know About ‘Weapons’ appeared first on The Onion.

A 60-year-old man was hospitalized with rare bromide poisoning after replacing table salt with sodium bromide based on advice given by ChatGPT, despite the FDA claiming the substance is unsafe for human consumption. What do you think? The post Man Poisoned After Taking Dietary Advice From ChatGPT appeared first on The Onion.

The post ‘Two Seniors,’ Says Jordon Hudson, Looking AMC Cashier Dead In Eye appeared first on The Onion.

Yasmine Polk, 56, passed over the rainbow bridge last Friday, becoming the first non-pet to do so. The post Yasmine Polk appeared first on The Onion.

The post Sweetshop Labor appeared first on The Onion.

The post Novelty Nachos Helmet Works Way Into Regular Dishes Rotation appeared first on The Onion.

DAYTON, OH—In a tragic turn to what loved ones had expected to be a joyous day, family sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Sandra McDowell’s career had died in childbirth. “We did everything we could to preserve the mother’s job prospects, but sadly, she just lost too much employability for her career to survive,” said obstetrician […] The post Woman’s Career Dies In Childbirth appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Shedding new light on the widespread dissemination of misinformation, the Pew Research Center released a new poll Friday that found the majority of Americans still believe the greatest threat to public health is the Undertaker. “More than 85% of U.S. adults stated they were ‘extremely concerned’ about the negative health impact the Deadman could have […] The post Poll Finds Americans Still Believe Greatest Threat To Public Health The Undertaker appeared first on The Onion.

President Donald Trump has claimed that crime is “out of control” in the nation’s capital and beyond. The Onion assesses the veracity of the president’s claims.  Claim: D.C. has endured a record amount of robberies. Partially true: Some places in Georgetown sell a cup of coffee for $9. Claim: Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles […] The post Fact-Checking Trump On Crime appeared first on The Onion.

The cherry tomato-sized meteorite that pierced the roof of a home near Atlanta has been confirmed to be about 4.56 billion years old, making it older than Earth itself. What do you think? The post Meteorite That Crashed Into Georgia Home Older Than Planet Earth appeared first on The Onion.