News with a humourous edge
“Why do the families of these victims keep trying to ruin our fun” ask angry men who like setting fire to things
10 June 2026 @ 1:34 pm
As the family of Belfast stabbing victim Stephen Ogilvy spoke out against the violent disorder, while praising the impact of immigrants in their community, angry simpletons have asked why these families keep trying to ruin all their fun.Nigel Farage rushes to Welsh beach to protest arrival of African migrant Heron
10 June 2026 @ 12:11 pm
Nigel Farage has travelled to north Wales after learning that an African migrant had arrived on a British shoreline without permission, only to discover that the newcomer was in fact a rare heron.“Who let him in?” asks former Immigration Minister that let him in
10 June 2026 @ 11:02 am
Robert Jenrick has asked who granted the Belfast attacker a five-year visa to remain, before quickly realising it was him. Let’s go soccering! JD Vance’s official World Cup advice to visitors from inferior nations
10 June 2026 @ 8:47 am
The US Vice President has partnered with NewsThump to help English soccer fans enjoy your (very) temporary stay in the US, where you can watch that boring ball-kicking sport that you people claim to like but won’t even put on an Apache helicopter fly-by when your team plays.Katy Perry revealed as Artemis III commander
10 June 2026 @ 8:08 am
Katy Perry has been promoted to commander of the Artemis III mission, NASA has announced. University of Life announces all courses to be taught via Facebook memes and weird YouTube channels from September
9 June 2026 @ 11:59 am
Students at the University of Life will be able to get all the education they need from Facebook memes and obscure YouTube channels from September, it has announced.“Boos were actually just Woohoos! from all the deep-voiced alpha males in the crowd” insists Trump
9 June 2026 @ 11:22 am
Donald Trump has dismissed reports that he was booed by thousands of spectators during an NBA Finals game in New York, insisting the crowd were actually enthusiastically shouting "Woohoo!" in support of him.Visiting football fans warned not to shout ‘Shoot!’ during US World Cup games
9 June 2026 @ 10:02 am
Early warnings have been issued for fans to modify their language in advance of the 2026 World Cup because it will partially take place in a country where gun laws seem to actively encourage people to shoot each other.West Ham quietly scrap plans for ‘David Sullivan Stand’
9 June 2026 @ 8:57 am
West Ham United have quietly scrapped plans for a ‘David Sullivan Stand’ at the London Stadium, it’s been revealed. Ceasefire going swimmingly
8 June 2026 @ 11:59 am