Tag: Humour

The post ‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Waving his arms wildly over his head and yelling as part of an apparent effort to attract attention, actor Joel Edgerton was reportedly going nuts Sunday in hopes of getting on the Academy Awards jumbotron. “Over here, over here!” said the 51-year-old Train Dreams star, who leapt from his seat and cried out upon spotting a […] The post Joel Edgerton Going Nuts In Hopes Of Getting On Oscars Jumbotron appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—After flouting rules put in place to protect decorum at the Academy’s biggest night, actor Timothée Chalamet was reportedly kicked out of the Oscars ceremony Sunday evening for bringing in an outside award. “Hey, wait, I promise I won’t take it out during the show,” said the 30-year-old Marty Supreme star, who was seen […] The post Timothée Chalamet Kicked Out Of Oscars For Bringing In Outside Award appeared first on The Onion.

A survey from West Health-Gallup found that nearly one in 10 adults say they’ve postponed retirement because of healthcare costs, with many respondents also reporting delaying job changes, home buying, or having a child. What do you think? The post Poll: Nearly 1 In 10 Adults Have Postponed Retirement Due To Healthcare Costs appeared first on The Onion.

The British Parliament voted to end centuries of political tradition by removing hereditary aristocrats from its unelected House of Lords, ousting dozens of dukes, earls, and viscounts who inherited their seats along with their aristocratic titles. What do you think? The post Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 Years appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Saying critics of the missile strike that killed at least 175 civilians were dodging a fundamental question, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth on Friday demanded to know what girls were doing attending school to begin with. “In all this talk about who was responsible and how this happened, are we just going to ignore the fact that […] The post Pete Hegseth Questions What Girls Were Doing In School To Begin With appeared first on The Onion.

The post U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week appeared first on The Onion.

Uber launched a feature that allows both women riders and drivers across the U.S. to be exclusively matched with other women for trips, expanding a pilot program intended to address safety concerns. What do you think? The post Uber Introduces Women-Only Option Nationwide appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Further fueling speculation that the commander-in-chief might have undisclosed medical conditions, rumors regarding President Trump’s health swirled Friday after he screamed, “Fuck! I’m dying!” during a press conference. “Fuck! I’m fucking dying! Oh God, it hurts! Ahhhhhhh!” Trump said in response to a question about the ongoing war in Iran, sparking fervent discussion among Beltway […] The post Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Screams, ‘Fuck! I’m Dying!’ appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—In a discovery many have hailed as a milestone in the field, a new study published Friday by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that humans likely developed opposable thumbs to signal “all good” to their buddies after falling off the roof. “New evidence suggests hominids first evolved this movable appendage […] The post Study: Humans Evolved Opposable Thumbs To Signal ‘All Good’ To Buddies After Falling Off Roof appeared first on The Onion.