Tag: Humour

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) was rushed by a man during a town hall and sprayed with what was revealed to be apple cider vinegar from a syringe, the attack coming amid a broad surge in violence against lawmakers. What do you think? The post Ilhan Omar Sprayed With Liquid At Town Hall appeared first on The Onion.

The post Trump’s First Year In Office appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Pulling her aside at a Treasury Department event Wednesday, President Donald Trump reportedly asked hip-hop artist Nicki Minaj to explain eating ass. “Explain it to me, in the simplest terms,” said the bewildered 79-year-old president of the United States, who clasped Minaj’s hand and looked her in the eye as he urged her to enlighten him […] The post Trump Asks Nicki Minaj To Explain Eating Ass appeared first on The Onion.

The post Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Spotted Wearing Glove Over Head appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—According to a report released this week by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a record number of Americans are finding themselves forced to make ends meet by retreating into their underground laboratories and practicing alchemy. “Even though I work long hours at my warehouse job, I still won’t be able to pay the bills if […] The post Report: More Americans Forced To Make Ends Meet By Turning To Alchemy appeared first on The Onion.

The 68th Annual Grammy Awards take place Feb. 1. The Onion shares everything you need to know about this year’s ceremony. Q: Who will be there? A: Anyone who’s anyone in the world of mouth noises. Q: How can I watch? A: The best way to experience the Grammys is a 30-second recap from your […] The post What To Know About The 2026 Grammys appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—Stating that they were “so proud, so, so proud,” the parents of filmmakers Josh and Benny Safdie reportedly told their sons Thursday that regardless of what the Academy says, they liked both films equally. “One nomination, nine nominations—The Smashing Machine and Marty Supreme are both movie of the year in our book,” said the filmmakers’ mother, Amy […] The post Parents Of Safdie Brothers Don’t Care What Oscars Say, They Liked Both Movies Equally appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—Perking up with excitement after spotting a customer in the process of completely humiliating himself, the entire staff of a midtown H&M store reportedly gathered Thursday to watch a man struggle to refold a shirt. “Oh my God, everyone get out of the break room—you seriously have got to see this,” said sales associate […] The post H&M Staff Gathers To Watch Man Struggle To Refold Shirt appeared first on The Onion.

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Groaning as yet another stranger shoved a ballpoint pen in his face, actor Noah Wyle stated Thursday that he was fed up with pushy fan tracheotomy requests. “Listen, I love that you love my work, but I’m just trying to grab breakfast with my family right now, not cut through any windpipes, okay?” […] The post Noah Wyle Fed Up With Pushy Fan Tracheotomy Requests appeared first on The Onion.

The post ICE Agent Stuffs Sock Under Mask To Give Himself Chin appeared first on The Onion.